Divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful things that a human being can go through. The loss of a mate is a devastating blow to the psyche. In death a spouse can grieve the permanent loss and someday recover. in a divorce, especially one with children involved, there is an open bond to this person forever.
Some sociologists study monogamy and evolution. They sometimes report that monogamy has passed down through the ages; sometimes they report that either males or females at one time were not monogamous for the betterment of the species at home. I think it depends on whether the scientist was cheating on his wife or not. One of my favorite discoveries was that females can store sperm and that sperm from competing males can compete in the cervix for impregnation. That supports a female with multiple partner non-monogamy.
However I do think that the human being requires some sort of partnership. A truly trustworthy and dependable partnership in order to be successful. People need love and affection to survive. Despite the solo Indians living in the rain forests of Argentina, people are a social animal. Many studies show better health and long life amongst those that have a stable long term relationship. We are able to nest, raise children and survive into old age with a true partner.
So divorce is a rending asunder of the bond, a destroying of the trust and an amputation of the soul. Then there comes an upheaval. Someone or both have to move from the family home. The confidant is no longer. One partner may have emotionally prepared and gathered resources of friends and family. Unfortunately if the other partner was not aware of the impending breakup, they may be completely unprepared and alone.
Now for the long drawn out legal battle. The only winner in divorce is the lawyer. Now the breadwinner has to pay not only for room and board in two locations, but must buy the mechanism of his own demise. The resources are quickly depleted and what was once a comfortable future with a nice nest egg built has become an uncertain time of transition and regression.
See why this is called the most stressful thing a person can go through? Despite the popularity of divorce and lack of negative social stigma, there is still an embarrassment or humiliation involved as each friend relives the bad experience when they finally find out. Thanks to social networking sites like Facebook, one can let a whole crowd of friends in on the secret all at once. John Doe is Single.
So what is a person to do? the usual, and more so. Diet, exercise, interactions, work, fun. Meditation and prayer if you are so inclined. Continue to do the things that fight the stress that you will carry along. Do not rehash, reminisce, bargain, stalk, or badger. Put the pictures in a box to be looked through later. visit with your children and make sure they know that only mom and dad are getting the divorce.
Stay strong, this too shall pass.